I built up courage to go and speak to her. After introducing myself, she told me that her name was Joan. The name fits the sexy person sitting alone at the table. I could not decline her offer to join her, and as I sit with her, I admire her beauty and listen attentively to her words, noting her southern accent.
I could not let her leave me, so after paying the tab at the cashier, I invite her to take a stroll on the beach. With the warm sand touching our feet, the water crashing to the shore, and the sounds of nature filling the air, I find myself in the presence of this beautiful woman.
We walked for a few hours. We shared details of our past and what plans we had made for our future. Joan could say nothing that did not impress me. Her intelligence was nothing short of impressive. We gathered a few seashells and exchanged a few moments of laughter. It was an ideal and perfect day!
The next day, I decided to call Joan to invite her for lunch once more. After all, she had been lying heavily on my mind since our walk. I wanted to share more time with her, find out where she stood on relationships, and discover what she expected out of a relationship before I took the next step.
I had a dozen of roses in my hand as I knocked on her door. She opened the door with a surprised look on her face. She leaned toward me and gives me a peck for a kiss. That was the first kiss that we shared. The woman dressed splendidly and was already breathtaking. To top it off, her soft lips on mine were more then I could handle. I breathed a small gasp for air as I lead her to the car to begin our date.
Without hesitation, I started with the questions. I had to know what she was expecting, and if she was my perfect match for a lasting future. Each answer she gave was the right answer. I knew she was the one from this point on.
Hours with the beautiful lady turned into days, and then to weeks. Weeks turned to months, and now a few years. The memories of our first meetings were always fresh in my mind. She never lost the beauty she had, and always carried herself as a morally right person. She remained absolutely gorgeous, day in and day out.
I would rush home from work with anticipation of what she was wearing that day. I was dying inside to see her smiling face greet me at the door. At work, I would long all day for her scent. Our kisses were filled with passion. The longest eight hours of the day were the eight hours that I spent away from her. The best hours were the hours that I spent with her after work and on the weekends.
During each holiday, we would divide our time with each family. We always shared the first half of the day with her parents and siblings. We spent the evenings with my family at their house. There was never a time that we would be separated.
Joan started getting headaches after the first of the year. I would miss work to be home with her. If it was for nothing else, it was to make sure she was not alone. We spent days at the doctor’s office to find the right prescription or the right answer to our questions, to find some kind of relief.
This continued for months. She went through test after test, pill after pill, shot after shot, and many trips to the emergency room at all hours of the night. I never minded. This was the lady of my dreams, and I wanted to find a way to make her feel better.
Another two o’clock AM trip to the emergency room has come. We sit in the waiting room waiting for her name to be called. Tears from the pain are soaking her face. Tears from worry and helplessness are filling my eyes.
Finally, Joan was called to an examining room. We followed the nurse to the room. The doctor comes in with a look of concern on his face. After speaking to with us for a few moments, he orders an MRI on her head to rule out anything serious. I demand some kind of pain medication until they are ready for her to go to the x-ray room. No matter what they give her, Joan continues to complain of throbbing headaches and no relief.
They roll her to the MRI room and I wait outside the door so that she knows she is not alone. This was the longest thirty minutes of my life. My sweetheart was away from me, in pain, and there is nothing I can do to help her. Where is God when I need him? I close my eyes and say a prayer that he would make sure nothing happened to her and find a way to let this pain subside. I am not sure what or who it was, but a voice said, “I am here with you, and I will lead her to where she needs to be.” I trusted that voice and took a deep breath as if the world had just lifted off of my shoulders.
The wheelchair rounds the corner enroute to the emergency room once again. Her face is still red and tear soaked. The nurse looks at me as if she wanted to say something but was not allowed. I had to ask if she knew something. The reply was, “The doctor will talk to you both.” This was something I did not want to hear.
The doctor came into the room, holding some black flimsy papers. I realized they were the MRI results. He placed them on the board on the wall and turned the backlight on. He stood close to the board and appeared stiff and afraid to make eye contact with either of us. My demeanor began to reflect that I did not want to wait any longer for the results. Dr. Myers started to explain to us that Joan had a mass on the right side of her brain. The headaches would not subside until they did surgery. After hearing all the risks and knowing what had to be done, Joan agreed to the surgery. The preparations started immediately.
Ten hours into surgery, Dr Myers met with Joan’s family and me in the waiting room. Seeing him stare at the floor as he approached us was not a good feeling. He asked if everyone there was family or a significant other because he had some news to share with us. ”Joan had a mass the size of a baseball on the right side of her brain. As we got in there, we could see how much this tumor had attached itself and was causing bleeding in the brain. I am sorry to say that there is nothing we can do for her. Joan did not do well with this surgery. She now has no brain function. The only thing that Joan can do now is be on a ventilator and be a vegetable the rest of her life. I am sorry that I am the one that had to tell you this news. I am sorry that she did not come through this surgery well, and this is the outcome. What would be the choice of the family at this time?” The words sucked the life right out of my body, and my heart was breaking.
After a few moments of discussion with the doctor and her family, the decision to let Joan go to a better place was made. We all went in, one at a time, and said our good byes. I held her hand as she took her last breath. I prayed as hard as I could pray that God would take her to the better place and that he would lead her where she needed to be.
They took my Joan away from me, physically. Her love and her memories still fill my heart and thoughts each day. I live with the knowledge that she is in a place where there is no more pain, no more tumors, nothing but a place that was made for my Joan. I miss her a great deal but my feelings are spared, knowing that Joan is where another angel was needed.
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My Harley Mama
We put the leather jackets and chaps in the saddles bags in anticipation of cooler evening air. I start the bike, and the pipes rumble with the sound of a Harley engine. She mounts on the back and off we ride.
I decided that maybe we would park close to the water and take a stroll. We walk hand in hand, listening to the water against the shore. The seagulls fly over our heads, landing in the sand as people on the beach fill the air with laughter. The sun beams down on the water, making it brighter, and as it starts to set over the water, it creates a romantic setting. We sit on the pier and watch the sunset at the horizon. People are gone from the beach and the only sign of life is the two of us sitting on the bench, watching the beauty of nature.
I am lost when she is not around and I am complete with her presence. This woman is everything I want and need. She loves to ride motorcycles, to share tender moments, and our lovemaking is always the best. We trust each other, and most importantly, we share a love that no one else could ever share. We have been together for just short of a year, and I know in my heart that she is the one. I love my Harley Mama!!!!
